Weight

 I received a huge amount of criticism for gaining weight in the past few months. I've had strangers tell me that I'd look better if I gained a little weight here or lost a little weight there. I haven't always had acceptance of my own body, ever since I could remember I was told that if I was too thin or too fat that no one would want me. Meanwhile, there is no absolute definition of what is enough. Thus, I've learned to realize that if any one who wants to change me to fit their own selfish needs does not respect me hence they can not love me. If that person loved me then he or she would respect me. I am not an object and it is an overwhelming and distraught cycle of thinking I am not good enough. Even if I did try to live up to a standard of how others want me to look, another person may not like that standard. So why try to please anyone when I do not need to please anyone? On the other hand, having disrespectful qualities such being condescending, judgmental, stupid, negative, a predator, a bully, have low self esteem, entitled or vindictive is much worse than being too thin or too fat. Every person has a body type in how their body metabolizes fats and makes muscles. I can no longer be a size 0 and still be considered healthy hence my weight gain. I allowed myself gain the fat and muscle I need to be fully healthy and by allowing myself to stay healthy within my metabolism I ultimately learned to love myself. I didn't let myself go, I let myself be.

The "Safe Cosmetics and Personal Care Products Act" will hurt businesses and animals

The Safe Cosmetics and Personal Care Products Act is a bill that has good intentions such as minimizing animal testing, establishing a safety standard and setting label requirements for ingredients, however there is a major flaw in its design- if passed, a company must be forced to comply with animal testing requirements for at least one year or not be allowed to sell their products. 

This bill states that yes, a business is allowed to use alternative methods of testing their ingredients and products, approved by the Secretary, that do not require animals but there aren't any actual alternative tests listed as of yet. This means that a business must either comply to the laws that require them to use ingredients tested on animals or not be allowed to legally sell their products. These ingredients that would be retested will include already FDA proven safe ones. Not to forget to mention, the awaiting alternative methods do not necessarily mean that animals will not be used at all. It could possibly mean that perhaps more animal testing methods could be made, however just with less than 350 animals per test. Either way, an animal had to suffer because painkillers are not used in these tests as they could disrupt the study. A study that does not accurately depict an animal's anatomy to one of a human. Therefore a business has two choices, change from cruelty free to animal tested or pull out of the market. If a business chooses to stay in the market, that business would be forced to pay fees to have their finished products be tested by a 3rd party. Not only that,  the cost of already FDA proven safe ingredients would become higher from Fair Trade farmers just trying to get by. To add salt to the wound, fair trade farmers would not be allowed to export their ingredients outside of the USA to countries that have already banned animal testing due to alternative methods that include computer models and synthetic cells in long term studies. Fair trade farmers from outside of the US will not be allowed to import to the USA unless they pay the fees for 3rd party testing, however then they will not be allowed to sell to countries that do not allow testing on animals. In conclusion, we as a country can not afford to widen the poor vs rich gap if it means giving up our independent morals or carry a heavy unnecessary distasteful burden

This dog was not given any pain killers as his eye was being cut out. 

Here is what you can do:

In order to prevent this bill from passing, please write to your political representative stating that you OPPOSE this bill.

 http://www.opencongress.org/bill/hr1385-113/show

Hello

Hi everyone,

I read each and every one of the emails you send to me despite being slow at responding. I overwhelmed with emotion to hear your stories and how my blog has touched your life. I can not thank you all enough. Many of you are going through pain or tough times but remember you must keep going, seek the resources available to you and don't give up. There are people who do care that you are struggling and maybe those around you in person are unable to notice but there are people willing to help see you through tough times. Continue to seek others like you and know that you are not alone. If you are feeling alone in the world, don't forget that you mean something to me in my life.

With Love,
Sara

I'm against 'Grey Thursday"

This is a repost from a status on my Google+

I've worked in two hospitals and on the field as an emergency medical technician. I was at the deathbeds of numerous people both young and old. Many confessed that they regret spending money instead of spending more time with loved ones. Please do not go out to shop on your holiday off if it requires time away from those you love and cherish. Spend time with those you love, because you never know when you'll never have that opportunity again.

Maintaining my Metabolism

I have a tendency to binge eat or eat very little when I struggle with stress or heavy feelings but in order to keep a stable weight, I must keep a stable metabolism. Metabolism is good for maintaining weight and energy. I must warn you that this is from my experience and thus my opinion, I am not a doctor and don't eat anything you are allergic to, but here are ways I keep my metabolism stable. I am also gonna warn you that when you first try adding these to your diet, you may poop a bit more at first because your body is literally flushing out stored bad fat & clearing up constipation.

Don't forget that you can not simply quit eating in order to lose weight. That's not healthy because you are depriving your cells, organs and brain from nutrition it needs to function. Your cells need nutrients to flush out bad fat as well as keep you alive. You must have a balance of intake and out take in order to be healthy.

Here are some ways I maintain my metabolism

1. Green Tea

Green Tea has antioxidant properties. I've probably been drinking this as a little kid because of the southeast Asian side of my family so I've developed a taste of it. It's very dry and earthy, however it will help prevent belly fat. You have to drink the unprocessed (no added chemicals) and one without sugar for it to actually be beneficial. I drink at least 4 cups a day so not only am I receiving the antioxidant benefits but I am also saying hydrated.

2. Bee Pollen

Bee pollen is good for regeneration and health of cells especially for your immune system. If your cells are healthy then your body gets rid of toxins easier. I don't think it's an antioxidant, I just think that it helps the body absorb the proper nutrients more instead of toxins. It also makes my skin really soft and helps my allergies. It cost 50 cents to $1 an ounce at the Farmer's market. I recommend mixing it in cereal or oatmeal or drink it in something cold because if you bite down on it then it taste kinda bitter and wasabi hot on the tongue. I recommend only half a teaspoon a day or you may poop alot then hate yourself.

3. ProBiotics

I take probiotics in the form of pills to help me with digestion of dairy products. However, there are also other benefits of probiotics. Probiotics basically help you from becoming constipated and bloated, because it helps the digestion of food. If you want to have a "regular" digestive system or a boost in digestion then either eat yogurt or take probiotic pills.






4. Walk

Walk at least a mile a day. I walk at least two miles a day because of school or the grocery store or just the sake of exercise. Walking is good for circulation of blood as well as keeping your lower belly fat. 

Okay, so those are the four things I do everyday to help me maintain my weight and metabolism. You don't have to listen to me, because this is my personal opinion. I also suggest that you have these everyday or at least every other day. Nothing happens overnight, and as always please talk to a doctor if you are considering major changes in your lifestyle habits or diet.

Take Care! xo

Our bodies are machines

This is my simple breakdown on how food and exercise effects the body.

A car is a machine that contains many parts that somehow must all function together to keep it functioning efficiently. The body is too like a machine, however unlike a car, the body is organic. Organic, what's that mean and how does it relate to you and I? Well for one thing, you and I are alive. In a simple scientific sense we are born, grow, develop, reproduce, and respond to our surroundings physically such as cold weather makes us shiver.  Do you ever notice that too much alcohol and skipping meals makes you sleep less and feel more tired? It's not only that we will feel fatigued by a lack of food but we will also be more prone to mental problems. In order for our bodies to carry out these tasks effectively, it requires proper care of the little pieces within the body such as the blood, hormones, joints, etc.

In order to properly maintain our bodies as well as our minds we must eat balanced foods as well as exercise. Healthy food and exercise will help our bodies circulate nutrients within the body an remove unneeded waste. For example, if we eat too many bad fats can make you grow a belly. This belly is just a storage for all the excess fat because the body hasn't found a use for it nor is flushing it out fast enough. However, if we exercise too much then we will not have any fuel left to carry out our daily activities. Therefore, we must find our balance of exercise and nutrition. 

Here are some previous posts on nutrition

In take and out take

Choosing a nutritionist

Healthier from quitting red meat

Nutrition (cont'd)

Nutrition is good for maintaining a healthy body as well as mind. Proper healthy nutrition can help you overcome depression by providing your body with energy. This energy may be the extra boost to help you get out of bed to accomplish small steps in your day.

If you are going to dramatically change your diet such as lose or gain weight then I suggest you seek a nutritionist to make sure that you are getting enough nutrients. Read about my advice for seeking a nutritionist.

Please watch the video above about the importance of intake of proper nutrients and how the body breaks down and repairs itself with the help of good nutrition.

SLEEP IS GOOD!

The mind and sleep eventually intersect like two lines with the center being our ability to recharge. My insomnia makes those lines feel like they are parallel. The lack of sleep makes me more tired and my mind becomes more active escalating into the bizarre. Sometimes I didn't get enough rest because of lack of time but the worse is when I have insomnia. If I don't rest my daily activities feel like I'm asleep at a steering wheel. My body is a vehicle and when I speak it'll be a car accident of choices. I'm irritated, illogical and my eyes burn. When I am trying to fall asleep, it's like I can't turn my mind off from the anxiety caused by stressed. On the other hand, when I am awake my mind is completely shut off. Oh firetruck, it's morning. Will I make it through the day? And so it starts all over.

When the body does not sleep, it does not recover. The most I've gone without sleep was when I was nineteen years old in an out-patient rehabilitation program. I was being treated for pain killer addiction and my anxiety. I stayed awake for at least 48 hours because my mind wouldn't quit.

Here is what they taught me and although they seem simple and obvious, with routine it actually works. This is mainly for if you are recovering from an addiction or having a underlying chronic mental illness.

1. Maintain a regular sleep/wake schedule. Try to wake up at a certain time range EVERYDAY! Even if you sleep at a bad hour, just wake up at the same time. Your body will get trained to wake up automatically even if you have trouble getting to sleep. Then you will get tired throughout the day and help you sleep within a certain hour range.

2. Eat a healthy/balanced/appropriate diet. Your body's fluids and hormones are constantly flowing inside. Therefore drinking water and a lack of high animal-grease foods helps. Water is good to help your blood flow and basically help your cells clear out dead cell "poop," and it also helps your digestion which is good for clearing out groggy headaches. Water may be bleh but you can add various vitamin or tea powder to make it taste better. Many are sugar free and replace electrolytes if you sweat alot. Second, eating a balanced diet just helps you maintain health which can help against colds and headaches. Too much animal-grease foods that are fried can clog up your arteries and hurt the flow of blood circulation. You need blood to carry oxygen to your whole body. It'll also help your metabolism. Lastly, an appropriate diet means to eat appropriate foods at the appropriate times of day such as don't drink too much caffeine before bed.

3. Remove distractions. It helps to get one of those eye masks that cover your eyes to reduce light and help your body's hormones know it is sleep time. There are particular hormones that set in when it gets dark to help you go to sleep so they can recharge. Also if there is outside noise, just get earplugs to help reduce or eliminate the noise.

4. Relax before bed time. You could take a hot bath or shower. Spray a calm scent such as lavender all over your bed to help reduce stress. Do light stretching but do not do a heavy exercise. Heavy exercise will energize you by getting your heart rate up.

5. Do not look at a screen such as a computer or tv prior to sleep time. If you stare at a bight screen for hours and hours such as while playing a video game then your mind will be stimulated. That's not good if you are trying to sleep because also the bright lights will trick your hormones that tell you to sleep to not kick in. So at least turn it off a couple of hours before bed. If you do watch tv before bed, make sure it is not too mentally stimulating like an action film nor bright with explosions.

6. Drink tea with honey before bed and eat a banana. Bananas are often used to help seizure patients, because it is a muscle relaxer. It can however, commonly be used to help relax your body. Tea is great for calming down and is commonly used as a sleep aid, just make sure it doesn't have caffeine. And adding honey to it, will reduce alertness thanks to the small natural glucose in it which turns off neurotransmitters.


These are the tips I was taught but if you guys have any others I would LOVE to hear it. Please leave a comment in the comment box or email me at sarahighsmith@sbcglobal.net

Take Care

Drugs & Self-Mutilation

The mind and the body are supposed to be two entities intertwined. A person who already feels somewhat detached from reality or in deep emotional pain when clean and sober may still have that inner voice telling him or her to not hurt themselves. Now under the influence of a substance, that inner voice can get drowned out. A person can think they feel good while understand the influence because the brain is overflowing with endorphins and serotonin. These two hormones help the brain calm pain and experience pleasure. On the other hand, when that crash hits, the body is depleted of the hormones that keep us stable. Therefore, the pain and detachment is amplified. Sometimes deeply troubled people will cut themselves with razors or knives. It is a way to transfer emotional pain into a more solid tangible physical pain. And it can relieve the need to punish themselves. However, the one I am most familiar with is the need to feel alive. Physical pain is a way for the mind to come back to the body, especially in fleeting moments before going unconscious from the blood loss.

Depression is terrible and it is very real, however it is very common. It can be triggered by stress factors from an unhappy situation. It is not only mental but it is physical. The mental feelings are sadness, irritability, overwhelmed, withdrawn, hopelessness, lack of concentration, self-hate and negative thoughts. The physical feelings are fatigue, inability to sleep, appetite changes and so on. I felt extremely depressed earlier this year when one of my close friends died in an accident. It's not the first time I've felt depressed but death is something most can relate to so I'll talk about it. I felt like I couldn't breathe when I thought about him. It was like a void within me that was lost without him. I couldn't sleep because I was so sad. I didn't even want to wake up or get out of bed. I was in a loophole of my negative thoughts. I had no appetite neither or I binged it. It was unhealthy. Everything was moving too fast for me. The reality within my head became distorted with an overwhelming combination of heavy emotion.

Luckily, the responsibilities of my boys and the support from other friends brought me back to reality. I never considered cutting myself open to see my veins, the whiteness of my bones nor the flow of bright blood in order to feel like I'm alive or to feel real. I feel great empathy for the patients I have encountered who have done this to themselves. My first encounter with a patient who was under the influence of a substance, suffered detachment that came along with depression and cut himself open was a middle aged man. This one man who I'm very surprised survived took some sort of serrated  knife and dragged it down his arm. I could tell it wasn't a clean cut because it has showed hack marks like he was carving tough meat. He didn't mean to kill himself but he wanted to see the inside, well that's what he told us. I wouldn't have believed it until I saw it multiple times on others. In my opinion, the difference between a suicide attempt and wanting to feel real is that the person who wants to feel real will cut or hack until he or she sees bone.

A feeling I felt during my recent bout was shame. I didn't want to be judged for my withdrawn actions but the sorrow was so overwhelming. I kept my expression of how deep this depression of my friend's death to a minimum. I sought out more of my healthier coping mechanisms to clear my mind. However, I can't help but think of other people who feel the need to hide their depression on a daily basis. I think about my first encounter with that man who drank so much that his inner voice of self preservation was lost. He hacked until he could partially put his fingers into his arm to feel the bone. I think about how instead of suppressing his depression, he actually amplified the thoughts within his head. I think about those who need to drink or smoke in order to go to bed at night. All these people I've encountered, they are no different from the next person. They aren't insane or addicts. They just wanted to feel real and lose grip because of a substance snuffing their inner voice out.


I don't know how I can help others who suffer a detachment from reality due to depression. I just hope that whoever reads this learns from what I've seen and felt. I hope that they understand why doing drugs and drinking while depressed can help in some sense but I can see how it is extremely risky. I'm not saying all depressed people are this extreme but sometimes it can be. Don't look down upon people who are suffering from depression and if you are depressed please seek help. There are resources and people like me that care about you, even if you are a stranger. Don't let yourself hurt yourself. You are worth so much, even if you don't feel it. Lastly, please don't take the risk of doing drugs if you question reality.

More information & sources

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/self-injury

Sex as a Status Symbol

Why does one think that the amount of sex he or she has is a determinate of self value? It's not like the amount you wash your hands a day is used as a status symbol. So what is it about sex? The truth is that it is not simply the act of physical pleasure itself but why that person was wanted by another person. To place your self value about being wanted by another person says quite a bit about your upbringing and your current situation. Also these reasons seem to be gender related as well. Sex is simply symbolic when placed as value.

For example, certain male rappers feel the need to surround themselves by scantily clad women while rapping about money. This man is sending the message that he has a huge amount of money and that because of the money he is successful. He wants others to know that these women want him because he is has money and women want to be seen with him. It's a way of him saying "I am better than you."

Truth is, you are not "better" than the next person. "Some animals are not more equal than others"-Animal Farm. If you are a person who uses sex as a status symbol then please reevaluate your self esteem. Self value strictly for why another desires you is very unhealthy. It could turn into an addict getting a fix. Once your fix stops and you can't get another to fill in the "status" blanks then you could put yourself in a dangerous position.

I'm not going to say only have sex with one person, but I will say that you must practice SAFE sex. Sex is an exchange of bodily fluids so if barrier protection is not worn when with a stranger, who knows what you may contract. Also, are you ready to have a child? If you aren't but do then that child could grow up with mental health problems from the way you reject him or her.

Overall, please be careful if your self value comes from the positive attention from others. If you are carrying out a message by the positive attention of others, make sure that you have enough self esteem from the inside in case it all goes away.

My happier, healthier body and mind from quitting red meat

5/25/2012

For me, excluding red meat from my diet is one of the best decisions I have ever done, however the process did not come overnight. I began suffering severe physical symptoms of anxiety after I broke up with my ex in April 2011 after 3 years together. It was a horrible breakup that police had to intervene. My happy domestic lifestyle was turned upside down. I was so anxious I felt like I couldn’t breathe. A month later I was able to get steady anxiety medication because my weight dropped below 90lbs which is not good for a person taller than 5 feet tall. In June of 2011 I enrolled in summer school to clear my mind and feel accomplished. Sometime during that summer I learned about cruelty-free cosmetics. I learned that thousands of animals are taken from their mamas and forced to drink chemicals and get poked in the eye then observed until they DIE!!!! Over the next month I could not stop thinking about all the baby animals. I had nightmares about being tortured and cut open alive. I was determined to quit these bad thoughts of guilt and fear of hurting something that is capable of love and cuddles.

Today I am red meat free after help from a nutritionist. Eventually every time I looked at ribs, I imagined my own family being cut up. I snapped and quit eating anything furry. However, I started to feel very fatigue and weak. It looked like I was very ill. I went to the doctor to find out why I was feeling so yucky. The problem was that red meat has proteins that I needed in my daily diet which I suddenly stopped eating. I already had a genetic predisposition of anemia so the nutritionist and I had to work out a battle plan of transitioning to this new diet. I slowly transitioned off various foods week by week until January 2012. In the process I began taking lactose intolerance pro-biotics so I could have dairy products such as milk, cheese and yogurt. Vegetables became a must, but not just any veggies. I had to eat more kale and ones high in iron. I still eat fish and chicken. I don’t plan to quit fish but eventually I would like to quit chicken. I’m not able to quit eggs and chicken yet because I still need those nutrients in my diet to stay functional. Overall, the diet plan I am on works for me.

I am not sure if I am feeling a placebo effect or if I really am healthier but my body feels more energetic and my mind is less groggy. A big reason for this was because when I ate red meat it was usually fried in its own fat such as bacon and hamburgers. I guess sandwiches could be healthier but for the most part I ate a lot of greasy meat from fast food. Also I was eating a less rounded diet and I was not taking vitamins. Whenever I get an anxiety attack now while on my anxiety medication the physical symptoms are less severe. 

From this experience I’m convinced that body and mind really do go hand and hand when it comes to eating. Food affects the overall function of the body. If the body is feeling good then the mind will feel less weighted down by physical problems. However, as I learned it is not good to not understand the body's input of nutrients. I recommend doing research or getting professional help with any major diet decision, because sometimes it can do more harm than good. Transitioning your diet may be a longer process than you want, but in the long run it is worth it. If this the lifestyle you want, I can tell you right now that this is a good goal that can be accomplished.

Nutritionists

5/22/2012

I've sought out various nutritionists for at least 5 years to help me with healthy weight gain and food anxiety. My main advice to anyone who wants to gain weight or lose weight to not stay with a nutritionist who is condescending of your situation. For example, one doctor told me "Why do you want to gain weight? There are so many people who would kill to be you!" Yikes... It is important to not be around any health professional who is condescending, because if he or she is condescending then he or she is judging you. If you are being negatively judged then you will not receive the best treatment suited for your needs due to the doctor being clouded by personal judgement rather than their schooling. 

There is a big difference in working with you on a goal and being cutthroat. A nutritionist who works with you on a goal will focus on slow progression for the transition of a healthier lifestyle and has the understanding that sometimes the patient relapses into bad eating habits. For example, a good nutritionist will help you find subsitutes for your diet such as baby carrots instead of chips or cook with this oil instead of that one. Also a good nutritionist will take note of the times of day you eat in order to get an understanding of your metabolism. A cutthroat nutritionist will use scare tactics or an overwhelming push to get you to eat a certain way such as mentioning you could get a heart attack and so on. By pointing out the negative effects more than ways to slowly transition, the patient will feel overwhelmed. Also you can tell a nutritionist is just not for you if he or she makes it seems like their technique is the only one that works. Obviously this is not true since there are a million diet books out there, you just have to be Goldilocks and find what works for you. 

Overall, I would like to say Good Luck and Good for you for seeking a healthy diet and help. There are resources for diets within the US that are free or low cost for you to explore. Remember, you deserve respect because it is not an easy choice to decide to take control of your body and carry it out.