Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

”I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas Edison

Saturday, July 7, 2012

What Happened to You?

Every night before I close my eyes, after I turn off the light my mind walks through shadows in a field of memories on the brink of falling off a no man's land balance beam. It tells me...

"I want to feel whole.
I want to feel here.
I want to feel warm. "

Onto one side of the balance beam is numbness and apathy, and the other side is rage and hatred. Both sides are shrouded in loneliness and power yet a lack of control but I continue to walk this fine line every night. I have no textbook answer nor miracle pill to make sense of anything. I just know that I feel anger and the ripples of confusion.

The hatred, rage, numbness and apathy is a false blanket of control. The control is always fleeting. It will never bring the warmth and tranquility of being whole nor here. It only covers what lies underneath the inner cogs of the mind where raw truth lies. The more time goes by a new layer of blanket is weaved. These emotions are like snow falling, it is so cold building up. 

I want to believe that there is hope for me. I want to believe I will not be lost under the blanket. I'm so scared of letting these heavy emotions consume me. 

The abuser was most likely once abused too. I can not change the past but I can accept that my anger will always have potential. It can hurt others or perhaps it unwind the cogs and layers. To continue the heavy emotions of rage, numbness and apathy is not a cog of fate. I wish for my no man's land to be more than a thin line on a balance beam. I want to feel that my anger has potential for more than inflicting pain and self destruction. I want the ripples in my actions to not be like thorns on others. At the end of the day it is and will always be an uphill battle against no one but myself. 

The destruction and the cycle of abuse will end with me.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Maintaining my Metabolism

I have a tendency to binge eat or eat very little when I struggle with stress or heavy feelings but in order to keep a stable weight, I must keep a stable metabolism. Metabolism is good for maintaining weight and energy. I must warn you that this is from my experience and thus my opinion, I am not a doctor and don't eat anything you are allergic to, but here are ways I keep my metabolism stable. I am also gonna warn you that when you first try adding these to your diet, you may poop a bit more at first because your body is literally flushing out stored bad fat & clearing up constipation.

Don't forget that you can not simply quit eating in order to lose weight. That's not healthy because you are depriving your cells, organs and brain from nutrition it needs to function. Your cells need nutrients to flush out bad fat as well as keep you alive. You must have a balance of intake and out take in order to be healthy.

Here are some ways I maintain my metabolism

1. Green Tea

Green Tea has antioxidant properties. I've probably been drinking this as a little kid because of the southeast Asian side of my family so I've developed a taste of it. It's very dry and earthy, however it will help prevent belly fat. You have to drink the unprocessed (no added chemicals) and one without sugar for it to actually be beneficial. I drink at least 4 cups a day so not only am I receiving the antioxidant benefits but I am also saying hydrated.

2. Bee Pollen
Bee pollen is good for regeneration and health of cells especially for your immune system. If your cells are healthy then your body gets rid of toxins easier. I don't think it's an antioxidant, I just think that it helps the body absorb the proper nutrients more instead of toxins. It also makes my skin really soft and helps my allergies. It cost 50 cents to $1 an ounce at the Farmer's market. I recommend mixing it in cereal or oatmeal or drink it in something cold because if you bite down on it then it taste kinda bitter and wasabi hot on the tongue. I recommend only half a teaspoon a day or you may poop alot then hate yourself.

3. ProBiotics
I take probiotics in the form of pills to help me with digestion of dairy products. However, there are also other benefits of probiotics. Probiotics basically help you from becoming constipated and bloated, because it helps the digestion of food. If you want to have a "regular" digestive system or a boost in digestion then either eat yogurt or take probiotic pills.

4. Walk
Walk at least a mile a day. I walk at least two miles a day because of school or the grocery store or just the sake of exercise. Walking is good for circulation of blood as well as keeping your lower belly fat. 

Okay, so those are the four things I do everyday to help me maintain my weight and metabolism. You don't have to listen to me, because this is my personal opinion. I also suggest that you have these everyday or at least every other day. Nothing happens overnight, and as always please talk to a doctor if you are considering major changes in your lifestyle habits or diet.

Take Care! xo

Thursday, July 5, 2012

My 4th of July

Hello! Happy Independence Day!

I went out to the San Rafael County Fair for a family outing. It was nice and warm. It was okay because I got to hang out with my sister and parents but there was way too many people. We did get a nice area to watch the fireworks. They were magnificent! There is nothing like celebrating America's birthday with booze and explosions. Teehee!

baby piggy

scary wolf costume

my sister and a dragon

creepy chicken thing and my sister

a very bless me ultima kind of art

my dad petting the cork cow

yay! a giant hamster

omgosh! I love these flowers

Epic orgamie

star wars

These are some of the Fireworks!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

"Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak."

Our bodies are machines

This is my simple breakdown on how food and exercise effects the body.

A car is a machine that contains many parts that somehow must all function together to keep it functioning efficiently. The body is too like a machine, however unlike a car, the body is organic. Organic, what's that mean and how does it relate to you and I? Well for one thing, you and I are alive. In a simple scientific sense we are born, grow, develop, reproduce, and respond to our surroundings physically such as cold weather makes us shiver.  Do you ever notice that too much alcohol and skipping meals makes you sleep less and feel more tired? It's not only that we will feel fatigued by a lack of food but we will also be more prone to mental problems. In order for our bodies to carry out these tasks effectively, it requires proper care of the little pieces within the body such as the blood, hormones, joints, etc.

In order to properly maintain our bodies as well as our minds we must eat balanced foods as well as exercise. Healthy food and exercise will help our bodies circulate nutrients within the body an remove unneeded waste. For example, if we eat too many bad fats can make you grow a belly. This belly is just a storage for all the excess fat because the body hasn't found a use for it nor is flushing it out fast enough. However, if we exercise too much then we will not have any fuel left to carry out our daily activities. Therefore, we must find our balance of exercise and nutrition. 

Here are some previous posts on nutrition

In take and out take

Choosing a nutritionist

Healthier from quitting red meat